Gangsta Guac, by Ballz

Meh.

I am obsessed with avocado these days. I mean, alone they're kinda marginal... They're green, weird, fattening, and mushy. But beware: when you add a few simple ingredients, it turns from 'meh' to 'WTF YUM'!! Here is my recipe for guacamole, which I have fine-tuned over the years to become a complete effing masterpiece.

GANGSTA GUAC (serves 2-4 hungry slobs, approx 2.5 cups)


Ingredients:
-2 ripe avocados (not-ripe avocado is RANK)
-1/2 yellow bell pepper, finely chopped
-2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
-1 small tomato, finely chopped
-3 tbsp sour cream or creme fraiche (if you're one of those vegans, you can substitute hummus)
-juice of one lime
-1/2 tsp chili powder
-1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (use more or less, depending on how much Red-Hot Hoop you can stand)
-1/4 cup finely chopped fresh cilantro
-salt & pepper
-wine for drinking

Instructions:
1. Get a big bowl. I learned the hard way that this crap gets all over the place pretty fast. :(
2. Get the innards of the avocados into the bowl. If you don't know how to get the peel off & pit out, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEguGz_OE6Y
3. Mash the bejeezus out of the avocado with a fork. I find it helpful to squeeze the shit out of the lime, right onto the avocado. Be sure to get all the juice out! It makes the avocado easier to mash.
4. Add sour cream (or creme fraiche or hummus). Mash it into the avocado/lime goo. Ensure the mixture is well-blended and smooth - use a whisk if you want.
5. Add chili powder, cayenne, salt & pepper, tomato, yellow pepper, & 3/4 of your chopped cilantro. Stir all in well.
6. Take mixture and put in a different, clean bowl that looks swanky.
7. Place the rest of the chopped cilantro on top of the guacamole as a garnish. FINITO!!

GET INSIDE ME.

This is my own recipe, and I have to say it's the best guacamole I've ever hammered into my gullet. The quality of this guac is definitely 9.5 ballsacks out of 10. I implore you to try the recipe yourself, and let me know what YOU think!

-Ballz